The Wife Who Stole Christmas
Jill Says:
I was listening to some cheesy radio show on the way into work today. The disc jockeys were cold-calling guys to see how many of them could remember what their wives gave them for Christmas last year. The inference was that men are unsentimental idiots who can't remember something that is so obviously important.
As I listened to this I checked in with myself:
Oh-my-God! I don't know what Eric gave me last year. Not only that, I can't think of a single gift he has given me for the last five years! Nor can I remember anything I've given him for the last five years!! What's wrong with me?!? Do I have a heart of stone?
While it is entirely possible that I do have a heart of stone, I think the real answer is that Christmas gifts just aren't that big of a deal after a certain age. I mean, I'm sure that whatever Eric gave me was absolutely spectacular, and I'm sure that I absolutely loved that spectacular sweater, or earrings, or pajamas or whatever . . . but the fact is that anything I really want I'll just buy myself. Eric does the same.
Truthfully, the things I really want from Eric for Christmas are things like these:
- a guarantee that he will stop leaving little piles of paperwork all over the dining room table.
- a commitment to stop making weekend obligations for us without checking with me first.
- an agreement that he will keep copies of all his bank withdrawals so I don't have to wonder why my checkbook never balances.
See, those things just don't look good under the tree. Call me the Grinch.
Eric Says:
Oh, I get it. You're a sly one, Mrs. Grinch. But I think I understand the REAL meaning of this post - Eric is a crappy gift-giver. Seriously, I am shocked - positively shocked - that Jill could possibly NOT REMEMBER all of the amazing gifts I have given her these past five years. Do you mean to tell me she doesn't remember the blender? The vacuum cleaner? The socks? That hurts.
Now she's come up with a cute little Christmas behavior-modification “wish-list.” If only she knew how silly that list will look on Christmas morning when she sits down to unwrap MY gift to HER. Which also just so happens to be a list - my list - of behavior modifications that I am requesting of her. Alanis Morisette would perhaps describe it as "ironic." Because, apparently, we have some sort of “Gift of the Magi” thing going on. You see, my Christmas wish-list to Jill goes something like this:
- a guarantee that Jill will stop throwing away paperwork which I purposely leave out on the dining room table where I can see it
- a commitment to agree to take on more weekend social obligations.
- an agreement that Jill will stop bugging me about bank withdrawals
I’m sure we’ll figure out a way to reconcile our two little lists, although I'm willing to reconsider and go back to traditional gift-giving. Because I know she would appreciate that sweet little mop I bought her.
By the way, consider yourselves all on our holiday card list. Wishing you the best of the season! Now go buy your spouse a Swiffer. They'll love it, we promise!
Jill & Eric
Labels: Jill and Eric
posted by Jill at 7:00 PM
16 Say it:
Your card is fabulous!!!! As for the lists, I hope you each get what you truly want for Christmas!!! ;)
Carrie
Another fabulous post!
I've been told on more than one occasion that I have a heart of stone! LOL Things like that don't mean that much to me either.
Well, join the club. Doesn't seem like either of you are getting what you REALLY want for xmas. I asked for a dog....and Mike will tell ya that THAT aint happenin....so. lol
Oh and OMG that card is absolutely perfect! I love it. Such a handsome group!
I am also not big on the surprise gifts. Don't get me wrong, I'd love for Big J to surprise me with that perfect gift - but it ain't happening. I just get disappointed when I expect him to zone in on my 'clues' and buy me exactly what I want!
He only shops for me at three places - the salon (gift certificate), the jewelry store, and Gander Mountain. Two out of three ain't bad.
He bought me a digital camera for Christmas this year. It worked out great. I went to went to the store and bought it myself and called him to say, "Thanks - it is exactly what I wanted!"
YOU'LL GET A DAMN DOG!! Just relax Jenn! SHEESH!
;op
My wife gave me a took chest and a few tools to go in it last year. See, I remember! This year not only is she getting a regular gift, but she's getting a new Jeep too!! "How do you like them apples?"
As far as the papers, Jenn and I are both guilty of this, but in different places. My dresser is covered with new and old bills, while the kitchen table always has flyers and advertisements all over it. See...........compromise.
love it! We all have our lists, but somehow I don't think John would appreciate that under the tree as much as he would a new video game.
However I'm with Jill, I can hardly remember what I had for breakfast this morning, how can I be expected to remember something from a year ago?!
I love this post, you guys! So true about 'the list', Jill. I too would love to have all of those from Hubby. (sigh) But then, Eric does have a point - and I say that only bc I hear the exact same thing from John!
Thanks for the humor and sharing the Xmas love - great card!
Cheers!
You guys crack me up. Socks? Eric really? Truly? LOL. The thing is, I forget too...mostly. But it's not that I don't care it's just that there are other things that are more important than gifts. Although I will say, nick does that thing with taking out money and not keeping the recipt and it makes me completly insane.
The picture is priceless by the way, what a neat card idea.
Mike, your buying jenn a new jeep? You rock....but when does she get the beetle? ;)
The card is fabulous... I envy it not only for it's cuteness but for the very fact that it is done...
As for gifts, meh... we buy what we want all year so there is no real need for me to sell my hair for Hugh's pocket watch chain... we're greedy that way.
Very nice. And Eric, I'm looking forward to hanging out with you and Jill this weekend!
You totally got me Matthew. When I first read your comment my first thought was "dammit, did Eric go and make weekend plans for us with some blogging guy named Matthew who I don't even know."
Then I figured out that you're joking. . . .Not that I wouldn't totally love to hang out with you this weekend. . . .Or at least Eric would.
I'm married to a man who likes "the big surprise." He would rather get something that I never knew I wanted and he is the same way with gifts for kids and grandkids. This can result in a serendipitously wonderful gift or it can fall a little flat. In the end, we are who we are and gift giving is just an extension of that. Cute card--I can't wait to get the real thing.
Now go buy your spouse a Swiffer. They'll love it, we promise! all right Eric, I will get my husband one for christmas, and when he gives me that LOOK I am going to point him to your blog and tell him YOU made me do it ;)
I hope you, Jill and the kids have a great Christmas and a wonderful, happy and prosporous New Year.
BTW, I love that card, that looks awesome.
I only seem to remember what we gave the kids, not each other. The whole gift exchange thing as adults gets kind of strange anyway. The wish list ends up like more of a shopping list, and then half the stuff has to be returned...
SO jealous that your card is done!
The message of giving at Christmas is that the beneficiary of the giving is, ironically,...the giver. That's the whole point. The Christmas message is not about wanting something it's about giving something. The thought in the mind of the receiver should be "gratefulness" and the thought in the mind of the giver should be
"love." Although, obviously, you should "love" your spouse more than you "love" the paper delivery boy.
I know why she can't remember that you gave her more work I mean a mop, vacuum ect. I'd forget too. Now the jeep, I'd remember!
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