Did you find out?
Melissa: Did you guys find out the sex of your kids before they were pregnant? Did you have people ask you and then look at you funny when you told them yes or no? We actually found out with both kids, although they were only right the first time. The second time they swore it was a boy. I believe the exact words were, "oh yes, it is 100% boy in there. Hahaha. If I were a betting man I'd go to Vegas on that." Uh huh. So we went along with it and told everyone who asked and dam a lot of people feel the need to ask. Anyway, dorkass the doctor was wrong and she came out a girl and all was okay in the world. Except if he had gone to Vegas, his ass would be broke. But that's not what I meant to get into in this post. I did have a point, I promise. Or maybe I didn't, I'm not sure at this point. Sorry.
So lets say people ask you and then they are disappointed with your answer. They either feel you shouldn't have known ahead of time. Or if you don't know, they wonder how you could not know. Because they could NEVER not know. And as all pregnant women know, it is all about the people asking. So, they're disappointed and you spend the remaining 4 months or so explaining yourself to people. Why do they care? How harmed are they really, if they can't buy you some fugly ass...I mean very adorable very pink outfit that screams hi I'm a girl until your child is actually born? They all want to know though. Then of course they want to know your name choice, so they can make fun of you behind your back. I mean really, don't you think Blythe Danner was making fun of Gywenth for naming that baby Apple? But I'm not even going there. I have name issues.
You know, when I was pregnant with Nata people started asking me if I knew what she was at like 3 months pregnant. I wanted to say, well I hope a baby. I wasn't one who cared. I didn't even care when the doctor was wrong, except that we went all airplane, dinosaur, and car on her butt, so we did have to take clothes back and buy new ones. Oh and I wish I'd been smart enough to think of a name first. But for some reason it bugs me when people ask if someone knows the sex of the baby and then reacts badly. I've even seen it with strangers in stores. To me, if you don't want to know the truth or you can't handle the truth (haha, I crack myself up) then don't freakin ask. The end.
Nick: I think my wife is a bit delirious. None of what she said makes sense to me. Basically I see it this way. You either want to know the sex or you don't, but either way you get what you get, so people shouldn't bug you about it. Me, I never bug pregnant women, it is rule, numero uno. But that's just me. You have to be smarter that the average tard. Then they think you are sensitive. I, am sensitive, in the sense that I am smarter than 90 percent of idiots out there. You don't ask stupid questions of pregnant women. Or tired/over worked wives for that matter.
We did think Natty was a boy. She flipped the doctor off is what she did. Or us. But we did think we knew both times. We knew with Maya. Both times we told people what we were having. But every time they said that stupid line, oh how could you find out, it is lifes only surprise, I wanted to knock them out. So you are trying to tell me it is less of a surprise because we found out at 4 or 5 months instead of waiting 5 more months? Not so. In fact it is every bit of a surprise, we just cheated and looked early. We wanted to know. We didn't want to call our unborn baby, it. It would have ended up being a long haired midget and who wants a long haired midget for a kid?
Last weekend we were in a kids store and looking at baby clothes for my cousins kid and this woman was really pregnant and she asked us if we had boys or girls and we told her and then she told us it was her first and it was a boy. For some reason, my wife looks friendly or something, so random strangers always talk to her. So, the lady saw that we looked at each other weird and we told her our story. She was shocked. You mean doctors can be wrong? They told me it was 100 %. Yeah we've heard that one. Then she said, oh it must have been a fluke. Well, we know 4 other couples who it has happened too. Yes maybe that is a fluke, but it does happen. So we scared a random stranger. But she asked, we didn't ask her. And we did tell her that her kid would most likely be a boy but she may want to have one girl outfit for a picture and a name just in case. Like I said, my wife looks nice or something.
So basically my theory is don't ask if you don't want to know.
So, what are you having?
So lets say people ask you and then they are disappointed with your answer. They either feel you shouldn't have known ahead of time. Or if you don't know, they wonder how you could not know. Because they could NEVER not know. And as all pregnant women know, it is all about the people asking. So, they're disappointed and you spend the remaining 4 months or so explaining yourself to people. Why do they care? How harmed are they really, if they can't buy you some fugly ass...I mean very adorable very pink outfit that screams hi I'm a girl until your child is actually born? They all want to know though. Then of course they want to know your name choice, so they can make fun of you behind your back. I mean really, don't you think Blythe Danner was making fun of Gywenth for naming that baby Apple? But I'm not even going there. I have name issues.
You know, when I was pregnant with Nata people started asking me if I knew what she was at like 3 months pregnant. I wanted to say, well I hope a baby. I wasn't one who cared. I didn't even care when the doctor was wrong, except that we went all airplane, dinosaur, and car on her butt, so we did have to take clothes back and buy new ones. Oh and I wish I'd been smart enough to think of a name first. But for some reason it bugs me when people ask if someone knows the sex of the baby and then reacts badly. I've even seen it with strangers in stores. To me, if you don't want to know the truth or you can't handle the truth (haha, I crack myself up) then don't freakin ask. The end.
Nick: I think my wife is a bit delirious. None of what she said makes sense to me. Basically I see it this way. You either want to know the sex or you don't, but either way you get what you get, so people shouldn't bug you about it. Me, I never bug pregnant women, it is rule, numero uno. But that's just me. You have to be smarter that the average tard. Then they think you are sensitive. I, am sensitive, in the sense that I am smarter than 90 percent of idiots out there. You don't ask stupid questions of pregnant women. Or tired/over worked wives for that matter.
We did think Natty was a boy. She flipped the doctor off is what she did. Or us. But we did think we knew both times. We knew with Maya. Both times we told people what we were having. But every time they said that stupid line, oh how could you find out, it is lifes only surprise, I wanted to knock them out. So you are trying to tell me it is less of a surprise because we found out at 4 or 5 months instead of waiting 5 more months? Not so. In fact it is every bit of a surprise, we just cheated and looked early. We wanted to know. We didn't want to call our unborn baby, it. It would have ended up being a long haired midget and who wants a long haired midget for a kid?
Last weekend we were in a kids store and looking at baby clothes for my cousins kid and this woman was really pregnant and she asked us if we had boys or girls and we told her and then she told us it was her first and it was a boy. For some reason, my wife looks friendly or something, so random strangers always talk to her. So, the lady saw that we looked at each other weird and we told her our story. She was shocked. You mean doctors can be wrong? They told me it was 100 %. Yeah we've heard that one. Then she said, oh it must have been a fluke. Well, we know 4 other couples who it has happened too. Yes maybe that is a fluke, but it does happen. So we scared a random stranger. But she asked, we didn't ask her. And we did tell her that her kid would most likely be a boy but she may want to have one girl outfit for a picture and a name just in case. Like I said, my wife looks nice or something.
So basically my theory is don't ask if you don't want to know.
So, what are you having?
Labels: Issa and Nick
posted by Melissa at 8:00 PM
19 Say it:
I'll ask when it looks like the woman is at least 6 months pregnant. Jenn and I found out what our daughter was. She wanted to, I didn't, but I wasn't upset that we found out. I wanted to be surprised about one of the kids, but Jenn really wanted to know.
First of all Issa, do you think I'm some mean horrible person that I'm gonna berade you for posting on a thursday? Sheesh. Didn't you get Jennster's memo? I'm the nice one! LOL
Second, I always say the same thing about this subject. There is no way that the doctor is going to know and I'm not! If no one knew, then maybe I could deal with the surprise. But the doctor is sitting there during the ultrasound looking at either boy or girl and they're not gonna tell you??? Hell no! If they know somehting about my baby....I'm gonna know too!
We did not find out the first time, but did the second. I found that I disappointed about 50% of people each time.
I wanted to know the sex - I figured I would STILL be surprised, just at 22 weeks, instead of 40 - you know?
What was upsetting to me is that my sister had 2 boys already, so there were actual family members who could not suppress their disappointment when I announced thatI was having a boy. I've never blogged about it and never will because I don't want my son to ever know, but it was one of the most difficult times ever for me. I cried a lot over it. Here I was, so excited to just be having a baby - my husband and I didn't care if we had a boy or a girl. And then we have family members totally poop on our parade? GRRRRR.
Oh, we totally found out the sex. And we told the whole world what it was. We also disclosed all of the possible name choices and all sorts of other random baby/pregnancy facts that someone might possibly want to know, but probably didn't. I never minded disclosing all of this - but then I also didn't worry much about someone else's opinion if it was different than mine.
Some people like to find out and some people like the surprise. Whatever.
i am WAY TOO FUCKING ORGANIZED to not know the sex. i would be freaking out the whole time and buy all the wrong fucking clothes. and then i'd die from my head exploding from all the clothes i would have to take back and re-buy. i'm dying right now even THINKING about it.
Cagey, that sucks for you. At least we didn't have any family give us crap. What you and your husband thought though is all that matters.
Jenn - Nah, I knew you aren't mean, I just felt bad. But I figured Thursday was better than not at all....and that almost happened.
Jennster - It wasn't so bad, cause it happened the second time around. If it had happened with Maya, my head might have exploded. With Nat, well we just took it back and got new crap and didn't worry if some shit was all boyish.
I never ask, and I hated being asked. Alissa's right, either way you dissapoint 50% of the people you tell.
all that matters is their health. who cares beyond that.
p.s. I didn't want to know, my husband did.
This one's a hot one around our neck of the woods since we've had quite a few friends give birth right along with us & Jas.
John and I had always, always, always wanted to know - both times. There wasn't even a discussion. It just made sense to us, end of discussion, no ifs, ands, or buts. But you know what? Just bc WE felt that way we didn't gasp in horror, or make that funny face when other people felt otherwise. We respected the fact that the choice is completely upon the parents. Why pass judgement?
Certain friends of ours did that to us - pass judgement; asked that damned question: "Why would you want to find out?!" It made my blood boil each time they'd say it (yes, they'd repeat it constantly).
I just think it's plain rude to do that. If you're gonna ask then don't sit on a high horse and pass judgement; lest you're not ready to be judged yourself... hmf!
I was asking at like 3 weeks... can you tell? Can you tell? How about now?
Pregnancy and delivery have enough surprises... I wanted something I could count on.
And, as I had 2 ultrasounds a week for 30+ weeks, I knew they were right. :-)
We wanted to be surprised. But I swear I knew it was a boy. I had a womanly instinct, what can I say. Oh yeah, and I accidentally spotted the evidence on the sonogram clear as day. DOH!
Lisa
Lisa, that's funny because I secretly thought Nata was a girl, but they kept telling me boy. With Maya, I knew without a doubt she was a girl two months before they told me.
I was sure I was having a boy (the ever-so-wise first time pregnant woman says). My husband KNEW it was a girl. The ultrasound told us we were having a girl. And we did! So much for motherly instinct.
I needed to know. I am also one of those organization freaks. Big planner. In fact, the first ultrasound didn't tell us. I was so upset, my doctor recommended us to an ultrasound program where they do ultrasounds for free. So, we gave it another shot. It would have sucked if the ultrasound techs were wrong. However, having pictures of the girl parts assured us that they were correct.
I figured meeting my little girl for the first time was surprise enough. How she looks, how she feels, what it's liked to hold her.
DOWN SIDE: I hate pink and purple and that was all she wore for the first six months.
OK, I'm done. That was a blog all by myself.
Well, I'd say don't feel bad for scaring that woman, she brought on the chat after all.
And I think that finding out your babies sex is a totally personal choice between you and your partner. We didn't find out with the 1st 2 kids, but did with the 3rd (I still didn't believe it until she was actually born - I got my girl) and people asked all the time. When I'd say we weren't finding out, they looked at me like I was from another planet. It is our choice people, not yours!
Love this blog btw!
Carrie
I didn't want to know what sex my baby was, but then when they asked me if I wanted to know, I suddenly did...I wanted to know EVERYTHING about my baby. If I could have skipped ahead and seen who she married and what her favorite ice cream would be and what she looked like at 85 years old, I would have jumped up and down with joy. Which isn't so smart when you're pregnant.
My doctor was smarter. He said she was a girl. I said, what are your chances of being right? He laughed and said, 50/50. I liked that. He said, it could be a boy whos hiding his penis. Often the umbilical cord looks like a penis, too, so you get a false boy result.
I liked the he said/she said themish here. Also, you're a smart man to not ask stupid questions of pregnant or overworked women. Definately smarter than 90% of folks out there.
The stupidest 10% are the ones who tell you all about the woman who had a miscarriage at 9 months, when you're just feeling a bit more comfortable and safe about getting through the first trimester.
Hee! I'm having a flashback. Except I got not only "what are you having" but also "how many are you having?"
Just one bitch. I'm just fat.
What is a 'surprise' anyway? If you think you are having a girl and end up having a boy - that is a surprise.
But if you don't know what you are having, is it really a surprise if they say boy/girl?
Didn't find out with the first two - didn't even have an ultrasound with the second!
The rest have all been accurate. With the boys, I always ask - now you're sure that isn't an umbilical cord? It is so totally obvious that it isn't, but I ask. With the girls, it's not just the absence of male stuff, but the presense of the female stuff. We were totally sure with them, too.
The one thing that bugged me was when we found out Emmadala was a girl - the first girl after three boys. Everyone was SOOOOOoooo excited that we were finally getting a girl (which we weren't trying for). I kept thinking, would they have been bummed out if she were a boy? And, I don't know how to raise a girl!I'm a boy mommy!
This time we're sure - after upteen thousand ultrasounds, I think we would have figured it out. I never thought I woudl get tired of seeing them, but it's getting kind of old doing the ultrasounds all the time.
We let it be a surprise with our first and were indeed surpised with Metalgirl as we both thought it would be a boy. We found out with our second child. I think it was around five months when we learned we were having a boy. My brother was told his second child was a girl until a sonogram three weeks before the due date at which time they found out it was another boy.
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