The Voices in my Head
Mike Said: So last week, I scheduled to go on a off-site meeting from Wednesday to Friday, leaving Jenn home with both kids alone overnight for the first time. I was feeling guilty about it and almost decided to drive back every night to help her. I was especially concerned about how Allie would handle me not being there for so long. I've been putting her to bed almost every night for a few months now and didn't want Jenn to have a hard time with her and also dealing with Luke. Also, how would Jenn be able to get the three of them out of the house in time for day-care?!? Normally she can't get herself out of the house on time, much less get a 2 year old and a 4 week old also!
Jenn was great about it and said that she wanted me to go and not worry (which I knew she meant), but I would have said the same to her if the roles were reversed and still been a little worried about how things would go. We worked out having my mother come on Wednesday night and her mom Thursday. I went, but was concerned how things would really go.
Jenn Said: Here is where I vary between turning into my mother, and trying to be the complete opposite of her at the same time. At first look the correct answer to this would be:
Jenn was great about it and said that she wanted me to go and not worry (which I knew she meant), but I would have said the same to her if the roles were reversed and still been a little worried about how things would go. We worked out having my mother come on Wednesday night and her mom Thursday. I went, but was concerned how things would really go.
Jenn Said: Here is where I vary between turning into my mother, and trying to be the complete opposite of her at the same time. At first look the correct answer to this would be:
Awwwww thanks for being so worried about me, babe.except why did I have this feeling in me like:
Awwwww thanks for getting me help, babe.
Awwwww thanks for offering to come home at night babe but I'll
be ok.
What do you think I'm a hack? I can handle it! Sheesh.
What are you trying to say? I'm not a good mother? I can't handle
shit? Like I NEED you or I'm a total wreck??? huh? Huh? HUH?
if it was YOU staying home would YOU need my mother and/or your mother
to come and help you? I doubt it!
I try real hard to keep that destructive voice inside and not let it out. Especially since I kinda LIKE having help and am not a big fan of handling and doing everything myself. Turns out having my mother in law and mother come by and help me at night was nice, and did help. Of course I COULD have done it alone.....but I guess no need to be a hero, right?
Labels: Mike and Jenn