Mr. Sandman
Jenn said:
Lately, the Dubyas haven't been getting much sleep -- or maybe I should say Mrs Big Dubya hasn't been getting much sleep.
In addition to the 'lil lady getting up twice a night absolutely starving due to a vicious growth spurt that good God in heaven, I pray comes to an end soon, the 'lil man's being plagued by nightmares/night terrors. I find myself leaping out of bed to respond to his bone chilling shrieks at least twice per night and dragging my butt into her room for a feeding another once or twice.
The infuriating part? The Big Dubya snores through the whole thing.
He wakes up in the morning all chipper and cheerfully asks how we all slept last night? The bags under my eyes are large enough to accommodate a weekend trip, and HE HAS TO ASK has to ask how we slept. When I tell him that I was up 2, 3, 4 even 5 times with one or the other (sometimes both!), he asks why I didn't wake him to help.
I guess my response to that is WHY THE HELL SHOULD I HAVE TO???
He maintains that if I weren't there, he'd hear them -- so, my question is.....Are these children my sole responsibility? Are the only times you are obligated to get up with them the times when I am not there (hardly ever) or when I wake you to ask for help? And if I have to wake you....I'm already up -- I may as well deal with it myself.
Don't get me wrong -- the majority of the time, I don't mind getting up for them....sometimes, in the quiet of the night -- cuddling your 'lil one is a wonderful thing, times to be cherished -- but sometimes I NEED SOME SLEEP!
Oh, and don't get me started on the one eye opening half way and pretending to be asleep....that's just plain old rude!
Warren said:
Ok, not exactly getting a fair shake here. It is a rather defenseless position I've been put in. I will say, however, my wife does have a flair for the dramatic - "bags...large enough to accommodate a weekend trip" - sheesh. But, I am not going to deny that it is, more often than not, Jenn who gets up during the night to tend to either or both of the kids.
My only defense (and it is tenuous at best) is that I am, indeed, a very heavy sleeper. I am the type of person who needs an alarm clock set on the highest volume and sitting no more then three feet away from my head. I can sleep through most anything and have always been that way. My biggest fear when Jenn has been away those few times is that I will not hear either child during the night -- but I am so stressed about that, I do not actually sleep, but rather power nap. Waking up pretty much every hour on the hour. With the monitor next to my head. At full volume.
I know I'm not alone in this - I have heard from others, as recently as this weekend, who have very similar sleep habits and offered up a lot of the same responses. I know that's no excuse nor is it a defense nor does it justify sleeping through whatever calamity should arise. But, neither is "I'm already up..." a good enough reason to shoulder the burden entirely yourself - wake me up and you get to go back to sleep - ta-da! - and then maybe we can work on the set of American Tourister you're sporting under those big, brown eyes.
Lately, the Dubyas haven't been getting much sleep -- or maybe I should say Mrs Big Dubya hasn't been getting much sleep.
In addition to the 'lil lady getting up twice a night absolutely starving due to a vicious growth spurt that good God in heaven, I pray comes to an end soon, the 'lil man's being plagued by nightmares/night terrors. I find myself leaping out of bed to respond to his bone chilling shrieks at least twice per night and dragging my butt into her room for a feeding another once or twice.
The infuriating part? The Big Dubya snores through the whole thing.
He wakes up in the morning all chipper and cheerfully asks how we all slept last night? The bags under my eyes are large enough to accommodate a weekend trip, and HE HAS TO ASK has to ask how we slept. When I tell him that I was up 2, 3, 4 even 5 times with one or the other (sometimes both!), he asks why I didn't wake him to help.
I guess my response to that is WHY THE HELL SHOULD I HAVE TO???
He maintains that if I weren't there, he'd hear them -- so, my question is.....Are these children my sole responsibility? Are the only times you are obligated to get up with them the times when I am not there (hardly ever) or when I wake you to ask for help? And if I have to wake you....I'm already up -- I may as well deal with it myself.
Don't get me wrong -- the majority of the time, I don't mind getting up for them....sometimes, in the quiet of the night -- cuddling your 'lil one is a wonderful thing, times to be cherished -- but sometimes I NEED SOME SLEEP!
Oh, and don't get me started on the one eye opening half way and pretending to be asleep....that's just plain old rude!
Warren said:
Ok, not exactly getting a fair shake here. It is a rather defenseless position I've been put in. I will say, however, my wife does have a flair for the dramatic - "bags...large enough to accommodate a weekend trip" - sheesh. But, I am not going to deny that it is, more often than not, Jenn who gets up during the night to tend to either or both of the kids.
My only defense (and it is tenuous at best) is that I am, indeed, a very heavy sleeper. I am the type of person who needs an alarm clock set on the highest volume and sitting no more then three feet away from my head. I can sleep through most anything and have always been that way. My biggest fear when Jenn has been away those few times is that I will not hear either child during the night -- but I am so stressed about that, I do not actually sleep, but rather power nap. Waking up pretty much every hour on the hour. With the monitor next to my head. At full volume.
I know I'm not alone in this - I have heard from others, as recently as this weekend, who have very similar sleep habits and offered up a lot of the same responses. I know that's no excuse nor is it a defense nor does it justify sleeping through whatever calamity should arise. But, neither is "I'm already up..." a good enough reason to shoulder the burden entirely yourself - wake me up and you get to go back to sleep - ta-da! - and then maybe we can work on the set of American Tourister you're sporting under those big, brown eyes.
posted by mr. big dubya at 3:19 PM
7 Say it:
We don't sleep much at our place either. However, I have absolutely no problem poking him in the head and saying "your turn." Try it.
I feel Jenn's pain. I have a 2 year old and a not quite 4 month old. It would take a bomb to wake the husband, and when I do try to get back to sleep his snoring makes that nearly impossible. Hoping this ends soon for all of us!
I get the whole thing that "your already up" but there is one thing to be UP - jumping out of bed and running into their rooms, and UP rolling over opening one eye, practically pushing him off the bed with a poke and saying
"HEY, I think your son is calling you!!! Go deal with it for a change."
When Mike gets up with Allie (which lately is most of the time cause it takes my pregnant ass an hour to get out of bed) I'm still awake the whole time. But there is something to be said for not having to actually get out of the bed.
Seriously.....try it.
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Allie did most of the late night feedings for 1.) she was breastfeeding...and my man-boobs don't lactate and 2.) I had to get up and go to work in the morning so Allie thought it was best that I didn't tire myself out
I got used to this routine and so when 1.) Allie went back to work and 2.) Kaci started on formula, it took me several weeks to realize that I had to start doing my fair share...I got better at it though..and there were several nights when Allie would wake me up to tell me to get Kaci
As a heavy sleeper myself, I have to side with Mr. Big Dubya on this one (as loathe as I am to EVER disagree with his lovely wife). It's not that we don't want to help, it's that we're unconscious, and unconscious people--by definition--aren't responsive.
The extra nudge/kick/gouge with an ice-pick I'd get from Oodgie during those early days were, while painful, a necessity which spared her the agony of getting out of bed, which Jenn pointed out is half the challenge.
Another option is to wear earplugs so you're actually less attuned than Mr. Big D. The noise will eventually penetrate and the big guy will step up. And if he still doesn't, then I'll personally kick his ass.
I still deal with this to this day. I don't know what it is but men have this way of easily going from on to off. Whereas we mommies seem to be 'on' all. the. frikkin. time!!! But I quickly got over the guilt of it all and started waking him up right along with me during those dreaded hours. After a while, and because he got a taste of what I had been dealing with, we came up with a schedule - an actual schedule - of who was going to get up on which night with them. In turn, whoever didn't have to get up with the kids was responsible for breakfast and getting the kids up and ready giving the 'late-nighter' some extra time to sleep in.
As for the bags, well, I'm still totin' those babies around. I look at them as badges of honor to prove I was really in the trenches through it all! Ha!
Good luck you two!!!
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