So this is what it's like
Mike Said:
So I have a new respect for stay at home mom's and dad's. I was laid off from my job three weeks ago and have been taking care of my daughter. Granted, we were away last week visiting relatives, but I already realize how difficult it is. You are "on" 24-7. Allie is a sweet little girl, but lately she's been very attached to me and rarely gives me a break, even after Jenn gets home from work. It's tiring, but enjoyable at the same time.
When I was growing up, my mom always had the house clean and dinner on the table at 6pm for when my step-dad came home. My house isn't exactly filthy, but it could use to be straightened up! I have dinner ready for Jenn most of the time, but I have to force myself to do it. Not because I don't want to do it, but because I really just want to sit on the sofa and do nothing at the end of the day. Allie hangs on my leg when I'm trying to make something to eat because she want me to pay attention to her and not the stove. She wants to play all the time. She has so much energy. It was nice out here in NJ the first week, so I took her to the park one day, but now it's cold again. The only break I get is when Allie takes a nap at about 12:30pm, but then I'm talking to recruiters, or looking on the Internet for a job, so that's not really a break.
Don't get me wrong, I love the time Allie and I spend running up and down the hall chasing each other with baby carriages, or shopping carts, but my back hurts from bending over and I just need to turn off sometimes. Since Jenn is pregnant with our second child, we're going to try to have her stay home with them for a few years. I give her and all other SAHM & D's a standing ovation for being able to do it.
Jenn said:
To be perfectly honest, and this might be mean, but I'm happy he's having a hard time keeping the house clean and getting dinner ready. Whenever I'm home from work I feel like my job for those days that I'm home is to take care of Allie and the house. So I feel this pressure hanging over me that I need to be able to perform. I need to keep everything clean, get something constructive done, play with Allie (maybe even teach her something), and have dinner on the table for Mike when he gets home. In my head, that's my job and what Mike is expecting from me. In my head....of course.
Well, the first day Mike was home he got up before Allie, and took a shower! He started breakfast as I was walking out the door, and that day he cleaned up, did laundry, took Allie to the park, and was calling me at work wondering when I would be home so that dinner would be ready. I thought to myself. DAMN HIM!! He's good at that TOO!?!?! Jeeze!!
By Wednesday I got home and he was on the couch in his PJ's watching Sports Center. Toys were everywhere and dinner was no where to be found. What a sigh of relief! I happily walked in, picked up Allie and started heating up leftovers. He yelled from the living room. Want me to watch her while your doing that? I replied with a smile: Nope, I'm good!
For some reason I always have complex that's I'm not doing enough. Like I should be able to do more than I am. Now I have a little validation. And validation is SWEET!
Now....let's hope he remembers this, when the tables are turned around again and HE is walking into a messy house and no dinner. =o)
So I have a new respect for stay at home mom's and dad's. I was laid off from my job three weeks ago and have been taking care of my daughter. Granted, we were away last week visiting relatives, but I already realize how difficult it is. You are "on" 24-7. Allie is a sweet little girl, but lately she's been very attached to me and rarely gives me a break, even after Jenn gets home from work. It's tiring, but enjoyable at the same time.
When I was growing up, my mom always had the house clean and dinner on the table at 6pm for when my step-dad came home. My house isn't exactly filthy, but it could use to be straightened up! I have dinner ready for Jenn most of the time, but I have to force myself to do it. Not because I don't want to do it, but because I really just want to sit on the sofa and do nothing at the end of the day. Allie hangs on my leg when I'm trying to make something to eat because she want me to pay attention to her and not the stove. She wants to play all the time. She has so much energy. It was nice out here in NJ the first week, so I took her to the park one day, but now it's cold again. The only break I get is when Allie takes a nap at about 12:30pm, but then I'm talking to recruiters, or looking on the Internet for a job, so that's not really a break.
Don't get me wrong, I love the time Allie and I spend running up and down the hall chasing each other with baby carriages, or shopping carts, but my back hurts from bending over and I just need to turn off sometimes. Since Jenn is pregnant with our second child, we're going to try to have her stay home with them for a few years. I give her and all other SAHM & D's a standing ovation for being able to do it.
Jenn said:
To be perfectly honest, and this might be mean, but I'm happy he's having a hard time keeping the house clean and getting dinner ready. Whenever I'm home from work I feel like my job for those days that I'm home is to take care of Allie and the house. So I feel this pressure hanging over me that I need to be able to perform. I need to keep everything clean, get something constructive done, play with Allie (maybe even teach her something), and have dinner on the table for Mike when he gets home. In my head, that's my job and what Mike is expecting from me. In my head....of course.
Well, the first day Mike was home he got up before Allie, and took a shower! He started breakfast as I was walking out the door, and that day he cleaned up, did laundry, took Allie to the park, and was calling me at work wondering when I would be home so that dinner would be ready. I thought to myself. DAMN HIM!! He's good at that TOO!?!?! Jeeze!!
By Wednesday I got home and he was on the couch in his PJ's watching Sports Center. Toys were everywhere and dinner was no where to be found. What a sigh of relief! I happily walked in, picked up Allie and started heating up leftovers. He yelled from the living room. Want me to watch her while your doing that? I replied with a smile: Nope, I'm good!
For some reason I always have complex that's I'm not doing enough. Like I should be able to do more than I am. Now I have a little validation. And validation is SWEET!
Now....let's hope he remembers this, when the tables are turned around again and HE is walking into a messy house and no dinner. =o)
Labels: Mike and Jenn
posted by Mike at 9:19 AM
7 Say it:
I love you two! Your the best. Keep up the good work.
Mom
Mike: thanks for the props. us SAHMs need to hear it now and then, even if its not from our own hubby.
Jenn: you are right. most of the pressure comes from us. once you have been home a while you will slowly learn to let it go. some days you get a ton done...others its all about surviving. no shower and watching Melmo.
Like Mike mentioned, at this age they want to play. It seems if i am sitting down maybe reading a book or watching TV he will keep himself occupied, but the minute I stand up he is at my side with the look of "what are you gonna do mom?" He hangs on my legs at the stove, or tries to help unload the dishwasher which is not helpful at all. But...thats just a typical day at our house.
--Brandi
Sigh. I wish my husband could stay home with our baby for 24 hours to see what it's like, but I'm nursing. Until you've done it, you don't really get it, because watching it or being there only part of the time isn't the same thing....
Yep, this is exactly why I would make a lousy stay at home mom. This is also why we have gone through four nannies in five years. It's hard work!
Good luck with the job search!
What a great opportunity to walk around in someone else's shoes! When I decided to stay home, I seriously thought cleaning and cooking would be no problem at all! Now we have cleaners come every other week and I rarley cook.
What kind of job is Mike looking for? I work as a recruiter. Shoot me and email and let me know.
And Jenn, it's o.k. to be happy about it being rough. It is, and few working dads have a good appreciation of it. It will probably improve your relationship in ways you never imagined.
I am a SAHM and sometimes it is hard to even get a shower. If I leave to do something in another room my three year old tears apart the another room. I think that it takes a much more regimented person that myself to be a SAHM that has the house spotless and dinner on the table when hubby gets home (not that he expects it).
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