Three's Company...Three's a Crowd!

We'll be traveling tomorrow so we wanted to make sure this got up before we went incommunicado. Happy Passover and Happy Easter.

Jennifer:

I’m one of three, the Dubya’s one of three....three is a good solid number.

The Big Dubya and I have two gorgeous and brilliant children (I’m not at all biased) and I would love to get moving on giving them one more ‘lil brother or sister to love, play and grow up with. The ‘lil dubya and the ‘liller dubyette are 17 months apart – yes, they are a handful on a good day – but, they fill our lives with such happiness and purpose – our little family has so much to offer a third child.

Why would I want another baby so soon you ask – after all the ‘lil dubyette is only 4½ months old. What a great question – there are actually a few reasons.

As I mentioned, our first two are only 17 months apart and I’m so grateful for that. The ‘lil man doesn’t remember a time when he didn’t have a sister – and he LOVES her. When we go to get him out of bed in the morning, the first thing he asks about is “Bay-bee” – when she dozes off in her swing, he holds his little finger up to his lips and tells us sssssss “bay-bee sleepen.” When other kids try to look at her, he goes over to supervise and tells them to be gentle. If she cries he runs to her and sits next to her to tell her “it’s okay” or to offer her a pacifier (sometimes he’ll even offer her his). He dances in front of her to make her smile and he gets so excited when she does. He sings “la-la-la” to her and she babbles back to him…… she watches his every move, and he dutifully performs for her. Sure, he stepped on her head once – but that was my fault, I left her lying on the floor.

Additionally, although I tell people I’m 28 – I’m actually th-thir-th-34 and the Big Dubya’s going to be 40 in May – if we are ever going to have a third, now is the time to do it – I don’t want to look back in 5 years and wish we’d done it – because, by then (at least for us) – it’ll be too late.

I know that financially it’ll be a bit of a stretch (although, we have all the baby stuff for either a boy or a girl, we have enough space in our house and we both have SUVs), but we’ve got two kids already – if we are going to be carrying around a diaper bag, let’s fill it up.

I know my first pregnancy wasn’t a walk in the park – and, although there were a few bumps with the second – the doctors managed my condition amazingly well and there’s no reason to expect a third to be any different. As for conditions linked to advanced paternal age, well…. we still have 4 weeks to conceive a baby before you turn 40 

Warren:

It is true, I am one of three. And Schoolhouse Rock always told me that three was a magic number. However, I am of the belief that had either my brother or I been a girl, it would have been just the two of us, building castles in the sky.

It’s really hard to argue against my wife’s many salient points for having another child. But, I can try and will. Many of her reasons for adding a third can be, just as easily, justification for only having two as well. We have two beautiful children – one of each. They are close enough in age that they will be (at least until their teen years) each other’s best friend. They are a handful, but a manageable handful. And they will be manageable even as they get older. Man-to-man defense is easy; playing a zone when you’re a man down is another matter entirely.

I admit that the way Little Dub interacts with his sister, even at his tender age of 22 months, is probably the cutest thing in the world. The way he protects her, comforts her, amuses her makes me exceptionally happy. I believe the bond forming between them now will grow with them and, regardless of their petty teenage difficulties with one another later in life, they will be quite close. So, why mess with that? Why add another child into the mix? Why mess with what is obvious perfection? Bias, schmias, these kids are perfect. So perfect, I’m still waiting on some damn magi to show up at the front door. I’m very reluctant to mess with the dynamic that is developing. I really like the way things are now.

Add to that reluctance the fact that I’m entering that “advanced age” stage of life. In just about four weeks I’ll leave my 30-somethings, cross the threshold, apply for my AARP card and turn 40. Forty! I remember my father’s 40th birthday. I was 14. My son won’t even be two and my daughter will have just passed 5 months. By the time they’re graduating high school, I’ll be actively seeking senior citizen discounts and hunting out early-bird dinners. I know you’re only as young as you feel, but some mornings there are things I just wish I didn’t feel. My back aches, my shoulders ache, my knees click – I’m a prime candidate for a daily regimen of cortisone shots. And, even though I rail against studies written about on every freakin’ news site, more and more are coming out that seek to link some affliction or another to a father’s age – and 40 happens to be that magic number for men.

My last reason has nothing to do with me, per se, but has everything to do with my wife. It’s also more on the serious side. The little guy arrived, quite unexpectedly, five weeks early when his mother developed rapid-onset toxemia and HELLP syndrome. It was traumatic for her and quite so for me as well. Between runs to the hospital and then to the NICU 25 miles away, it was exhausting to say the least. Add to that the fact my wife, my son’s mother, wasn’t able to hold her newborn for nearly six days and you can begin to imagine the stress and strain. Our second pregnancy did not go off without a hitch, but was more in keeping with the traditional time period. But, during that time I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was sure we would find ourselves, once again, rushing off to the emergency room to be whisked away to an examination room only to be told that we would be parents again in seven minutes. Sure, this is all hyperbole on my part, but these are the types of things that were going through my head for nearly 10 months. And even though the second went far easier than the first, the idea that it could have happened, was likely to happen, and is still a distinct possibility during any pregnancy, causes me to take pause. My worst fear is to come home to find two inconsolable toddlers and their mother seizing on the floor. Yes, that’s an extreme, but a rational fear all the same.

So, to sum up (wow, this really did get long-winded didn’t it?) those are my reasons for keeping it at two.