Pickin' up the slack 'vs Yelling SLACKER!

Jenn Said:
I have this "thing". I hate talking to people on the telephone. Unless of course that person is my mother, brother, aunt, or a handful of friends. Other than that, I hate it. This goes back a long way with me (as long as I can remember). I had such a hard time calling for jobs in the paper (this is pre-Monster), calling and making/canceling an appointment, or even just calling someone back that I haven't talked to in a while. This still plagues me. I hate having to call and talk to Allie's daycare, doctors, companies regarding billing issues, or even something as small as calling friends back about something.

It drives Mike crazy. I just think of it as something I'm not good at. We all have things that we excel at and things we don't. I mean no one is perfect, right? (I'm close, btw lol) My husband, has things that he's not great at! Planning any type of event or social gathering. We would never do anything if I left it up to him. Having the patience to deal with certain things regarding Allie. Creating a schedule for her or dealing with her when she changes up the schedule. I'm better at some things and he is better at others. This is what we call "Picking up the Slack", right?

Shouldn't we just acknowledge that whatever the thing is, is something that our significant other isn't good at and do it for them? Or should we make that person do it just BECAUSE they aren't good at it, in attempts to HELP them get over it?

Lets hear what Mike has to say.....and what's your thoughts on it?

Mike Said:
I have no problem handling the phone calls to Daycare, doctors, issues with bills, etc, but there are times when I just don’t have the time to handle it right then. I know talking to these people is something that Jenn hates doing, but sometimes I just want her to realize that I can’t handle everything and I need help. I do my best to help plan things, but I don’t always ask the right questions and then she just ends up getting annoyed and having to redo what I already did. It happens.

I feel like I pick up a lot of the slack for her and her for me. Like I said before, this only seems to be an issue when one of us really does not feel like dealing with something and ends up forcing it on the other person by default. She is horrible at returning calls and handling things that need to be taken care of now. She’s a bit of a hippy and is more relaxed about stuff. I’m a little OCD and want things done when I want them done and how. I know I’m a pain in the ass sometimes, but we manage.

In general, we don’t really argue about things, or hold grudges. We get them out on the table as soon as it happens and talk like civil people about them. You will never see one of us holding in something until we punch a hole in the wall, or even make a huge issue out of something at an inappropriate time. We’re considerate of how the other feels and always try to take it into consideration when having a disagreement. No relationship is perfect, but ours is pretty close.

the wedding of the year!!!!

ster:
some of you might not know that boyfriend and i aren't married yet! but it's coming soon, so our house is all about the wedding!! invitations on the floor. stickers with our monograms printed and strewn around the house. silly shaped scissors for my many diy (do it yourself) projects. cd cases in boxes. blank cd's at both computers. disposable cameras. boxes of vases. boxes of candle holders. boxes of EVERYTHING! wedding.madess.

but in all honesty, i love it! i truly do. i think it's all so much fun and i'm having a blast planning every single detail. the way i look at it is that i don't get a do-over on this day. so all the little things i think about adding in- make me excited!

boyfriend actually tried to get me to "promise" that i wouldn't think of any more crafty ideas to implement and do for this day. i tried to promise, i really did... but i mean, who knows what i'll think of next?!?! at least i'm not having these ideas and then bitching about them, right? i mean, as long as i am having fun doing all the crafty things, what is the problem??

i'm only having one wedding. and i'm going to make it as personal, fun, crafty and silly as i want it to be. dammit. do you wish you'd done anything differently for your wedding? did you do a lot of stuff for it, or am i the only insane one?

point:
not bitching....please dont believe that shit. She may not be bitching about the wedding stuff but on our weekend and i ask for like 5 minutes of attention all i get is a load of shit because she's concentrating...........It is very damaging to the relationship. most women would be pleased that their man would want to give them some attention to try to spend time with them........

and dont think i bought that PATHETIC attempt at a promise....your thinking of shit to ADD to our already pre-existing right now......and probably all day long for that matter.....

i swear we are going to end up paying people to come to the wedding when you add up all the time and materials that are going into favors and trinkits.

im thinking of getting my groomsmen bottles of booze as our gifts....how toughtful is that!

Celebrity Double Date

We like to pass judgment on the celebrity relationships we hear about in the news. Well . . okay. . .in People Magazine. A pathetic waste of time, we know - but hey, who better than us to decide what really broke up Brad and Jennifer?

Alright, alright - so there are lots of people better qualified than we are. We're still willing to wade into the celebrity muck and offer our not-so-expert opinions. See, Eric is pretty sure that Jennifer Aniston was too needy and also unwilling to start a family while her career was so hot. Jill's not so sure - she thinks Angelina was a temptress and Brad was too eager for adventure.

Sadly, we have spent far too much time worrying about this. Time that would have been much better spent cleaning the house. Or at the very least, time that could have been spent figuring out what happened to Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz. Or Carmen and Dave. Or even Nicole and DJ AM, for God's sake!

Sometimes, as we are playing amateur couples' therapists to the stars, we might also reflect on what celebrity would make a good partner for each other. For example, Jill might suggest that Jennifer Garner would make a good spouse for Eric. She seems easy-going, down-to-earth, one of the guys. Eric isn't so sure about that. He seems to think that Penelope Cruz would be a better pick.

[Eyes Rolling] Right-o. Because Eric and Penelope have so much in common. Why not just say Jessica Alba and get it over with? The Penelope Cruz pick has nothing to do with spiritual compatibility.

On the flip side, Eric is of the opinion that Liam Neeson would be a great choice for Jill.

Liam Neeson? For real? The guy from Schindler's List? Whateverrrr. I mean it's very flattering that Eric has chosen a thespian of such quality and refinement - but really, Brad Pitt will do fine. Just fine. Shooting too high, you say? Then let's just go with Vince Vaughn.

So do you think we're completely pathetic?

Liar. You do it too. So fess up, what is your celebrity double date? And while you're at it, what did break up Cameron and Justin?

HOLIDAY BURNOUT

Setting: Jen curled up on the couch with a pack of tissues and cough drops.

Jen: I’ve got the flu.

John: Again??

Jen: What do you mean ‘again’??

John: This is the second time in a month you’ve had the flu. The first was right before Christmas, and the second, hello?, right now. This happens every year. You always do too much around the holidays, you need to pare down your obligations and not worry about all the little things.

Jen: Well, sure, I’d love to ‘pare down my obligations’ but that would just make us look like bah-Humbug Scrooges. Who else is supposed to take care of the little things? The holiday cards had to be sent out, the gifts had to be bought and wrapped; we had a few dinners with friends, and a party or two to attend. I mean, all of that on top of our already crazy lives…

John: All I’m saying is that you do too much and in the end you always, always, always get sick and say how “next year things will be different”. How, Jen, is it going to be different next year; tell me.

Jen: (after only a few seconds of thought) Okay, Mr. Know-It-All. Next season you’ll pick the photo to be used for the holiday cards. You’ll be responsible for ordering them, typing up a little family letter to go along with each card, and stamping and sealing them as well as addressing them before mailing them on their way in time for Christmas. You can schedule our family holiday portraits & choose what the kids will wear in them. And you can also create the list of gifts we’ll give to our family and friends, not to mention wrap them nicely. Then you can spend some time pondering what to serve during our get-together dinners, and what to wear for the parties we may attend. Oh yeah, you’ll also need to have a few extra gifts on hand for the ‘just in case’ moments when somebody extra happens to come along. I’m sure I’m forgetting a lot of other important details but I’ll be sure to draw up a spreadsheet of what to do and exactly when it should be completed to keep you on track – I’ll do all that just as soon as I’m better and off of this damned couch! Next season I expect to be stress and flu-free simply because you’ll be taking all of these things off of my plate so that I can focus on the other little things in our lives. Any questions, Sweetie?

John: (grumbling under his breath) How the hell did I get myself into this shit? I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.

Jen: What was that?

John: Nothing, Honey. I was just saying how jolly it’ll be to help you out with this.