Get Your Motor Runnin'

Jennifer Said:

A minivan?

Are you kidding me?

Old people, responsible people, people's parents (yeah, okay that's us) drive minivans -- they don't even make them in 5-speeds for Christ's sake. What has gotten into you?

Yeah, okay -- the ones we've seen are really, really nice and extremely well equipped -- some of those things have more electronics than NASA. And yes, in addition to our frequent "road-trips", we do drive back and forth from CT to Boston at least once a month. It's hard to argue that the extra space wouldn't be nice for the kids on those longer trips, but -- honestly, they have plenty of room in our SUVs. I mean, we never had a minivan growing up..... we managed just fine. And, have you seen the prices of those things? For us to get something even comparable to the Honda your Dad recently got, we'd have to shell out over $30,000. For $30,000 I want a Beamer or a Benz not this generation's Woody Wagon.

I am not old. I already surrendered my 'lil sports cars, I already surrendered my stick shift, I already surrendered fuel efficiency -- do I really have to become one of the Joneses? a Stepford soccer Mom? Can't I retain some (and I do mean some) semblance of cool ('cause the SUV with two carseats and two "safety first" window shades screams cool)?

We are a family of four..... two adults and two tiny little children -- what do we need a land yacht for?


Warren Said:

I hate to admit it. I really do. I know this will put the final nail in the coffin of my hipster cred. But, I actually like today's minivans and I would consider buying one...now.

These are not your father's minivans - the boxy, utilitarian Dodge Caravans or the tweaked out Econolines complete with the same level of comfort. No, no, no. Gone are the days of the 300 lb. bench seats that could only be removed with the help of Andre the Giant - now you had space in the van, but you lost two parking spaces in your garage (if you had one). I know of where I speak. My father passed down a 1986 Ford Aerostar to me when I got out of the army - who was I to complain? It was free and I needed a car. It was not, however, a babe magnet. It screamed soccer mom or flower delivery guy. It might have been bulky and spartan in its amenities, but it was free, it was well-maintained and, did I mention it was free?

Since then, I have owned a Civic, a PT Cruiser and, now, a CR-V. Mrs. Big Dubya and I also own a Pilot which now takes the lion's share of the family trips. As spacious as the CR-V is, when you put the kids in their seats and throw some luggage in the back, that's it, it's full. The Pilot, however, has plenty of space, but not as much as an Odyssey, surprisingly enough. (I'm comparing Hondas to Hondas and nothing else - I'm far too lazy to go investigating Nissan and Chrysler and Toyota.) Mrs. Big Dubya mentions never having a a minivan growing up - I do as well, but I also remember a 24-hour trip to Florida in the backseat of a Chevy Citation with my two brothers - I would have killed for space back then. That's what minivans offer. And, unlike the minivans of the late 80s and early 90s, today's are just a tad cooler - satellite navigation systems, dual sliding doors, MP3 players, XM Radio and, holy shit, 15 cup holders. Fifteen!

I don't know. Minivans have such a stigma attached to them that it makes it difficult to actually take them seriously as a viable option for family truckin'. But, honestly, who am I kidding? I'm 40-years-old. Days of tooling around in an IROC are long behind me (thankfully). Maybe I can maintain some of my youth by adding some neon or some nice rims. If those don't work, this certainly will show how cool I am.

so.. we're like.. getting married and stuff

ster:
our wedding is in 2 days. TWO DAYS! and here we are.. blogging. HA! it's weird. i was completely freaking out on monday, but i've come to realize that i was just pms'ing. seriously. cause i've been completely fine ever since. the weirder part is.... i've already seen family and friends who live across the country and it's like my brain hasn't processed just exactly what the hell they're doing here. i know it sounds crazy, but i'm wondering if i don't really realize that they are here for US. i mean, i'm getting married. but part of me is clueless. like i haven't put it all together. maybe it's because i still have gift bags to make? and maybe it's because i'm at my mom's house, instead of at our hotel room where the ceremony and reception will take place.. or maybe it's because I AM A TOTAL AND COMPLETE FREAK?!?!?!!

point:
well you are a total and complete freak. thats already a given. but ive been alittle wierd myself. i dont fully realize that its coming, that this thing i started over 2 years ago is going to pass. like i dont even know its here. that my wedding is in 2 days. but at the say time when i remind myself that we are getting married in to days i get giddy. like stupid little boy giddy. if only you didnt have to bring down all my happiness this past week when i would do my morning countdown. "honey....5 more days...." before i would see this cute smile and now.......i get a shutup.....

note to self: dont show anymore emotion.

Woof!

Eric Says:

A boy needs a dog. Scratch that. A kid needs a dog. All four of our kids are clamoring for a dog, but Jill has made the executive decision that we don't need one. It's like the woman has never seen Old Yeller or something. Heartless.

I don't really get the objection. It's not like she's opposed to pets. After all, she was the genius who decided that a third cat was a good idea. That third cat put us right into the same category as a handful of maiden aunts with subscriptions to Cat Fancy magazine. Mercifully, we are back down to two cats. . . but still!

We have also been the proud parents of several fish, two ant colonies, five metamorphisizing butterflies and a hamster named Puff Daddy. So why not a dog? Everyone needs a best friend.

Jill Says:

You already have a best friend, buddy, and your best friend says that she has no interest in cleaning up dog excrement with plastic bread wrappers wrapped round her hand. Yuck! I've spent enough years of my life cleaning up human urine from small boys with poor aim.

Besides, we don't even love the pets we have. Remember when one of the cats disappeared in the middle of winter and then turned up again four months later at a pet hospital 15 miles away? Instead of celebrating our cat's amazing adventure and miraculous recovery, your reaction was to curse the shelter we got her from for inserting a chip in her head that allowed the pet hospital to trace her back to us.

Oh, and then there's little Puff Daddy. The boys accidentally starved him to death. Remember that?

Look, a dog is a lot of work and needs a lot of attention. No matter what the kids may say now, you know that we will be the ones walking the dog in the middle of the winter and cleaning up its messes. No Dogs.

BTW: Old Yeller had rabies.

The Right Way to Be

Jen’s Take

“I’ve got to tell you the funniest thing that The Big Guy did today.” said my preschooler’s teacher. “He looked around to make sure that nobody was watching before he went into the dress up corner and put on a princess dress. And then he looked a little embarrassed afterward.”

While it didn’t bother me in the least, my mind raced to find some way to ease this little tidbit into conversation after John’s return home from work. I just could see no perfect way to let him know of his son’s activity at school other than to say, “I’ve got to tell you the funniest thing that The Big Guy did today….he put on a princess dress.” Hmmm.

Back in our early parenting days John almost had a heart attack when he found The Big Guy tinkering with a friend’s toy kitchen. Looking at me in panic it was all he could do to keep from ripping the toy from our son’s grip and tossing it into a closet.

But here’s my stance: I have no problem with either of my children playing with toys that are/were originally designated as ‘gender-specific’. I find it perfectly okay that my son ‘cooks’ at a play kitchen. I welcome his curiosity when he examines a baby doll. And I have no hesitation explaining and demonstrating the whys and how-tos of hair clips and ribbons. I allow him to watch me put makeup on, and he’s even tried on a few pairs of my high heels. Am I worried that it’s a sign of any future homosexuality? No. Am I encouraging homosexual tendencies? I don’t see that I am. Would I be bothered if a few years down the line he decided to ‘bat for the other team’? Honestly, it would take me a bit by surprise but it wouldn’t make me love him any less.

Of course I’d want to do all in my power to protect him from the ugliness of those who choose to be ignorant, but the fact of the matter is this: my actions and calm reactions to his natural curiosities are the tone I want to set in my relationship with him as his mother. I don’t want to make him feel that I ever judge him (now as a child nor in the future when he becomes a man). The only things I expect of him are respect, compassion, and complete honesty. Not making a big deal out of it now keeps it from being a big deal further down the road.

Is it just easier for a woman to accept; especially a mother?

John’s Take

Where am I supposed to go with this? I can go with the politically correct answer to avoid quick judgements and innuendos. Or do I take the honest approach, go with the first word that comes to mind and deal with the judgements later?

1) Honestly I grew up in a very diverse environment and have had many friends who have “batted” for the other team. I know it probably sounds horrible but I hope that TBG ends up staying on my team.

2) Maybe it’s my issue more than Jen’s but I do want to instill some manly-man tendencies into his life. Not the macho-man-beer-can-wingman ways but more of a solid, down to earth, honest, confident man who will be respectful towards women.

3) I will love my son unconditionally forever. But honestly I won’t be able to help but be disappointed should he pick up more feminine tendencies because of how Jen handles these situations.

Last week at the mall while shoe-shopping, Jen grabbed a purse for our daughter to carry. The Big Guy, being a normal sibling, didn’t want to be left out of the action and requested a purse for himself. He said, “Look, Daddy! I have a purse!” To which I replied (in a very low voice hoping that Jen would not hear) “Purses are for girls, Big Guy. Put it back.” Unfortunately, eagle-ears Jen overheard my comment and snapped me a look of disgust.

Jen and I tend to agree on most things. But in this case she feels that I’m overreacting. She also thinks that the more attention I give to it the more likely he’ll be intrigued because of my reactions. I’m damned if I do, and I’m damned if I don’t.